


old desires make us act carelessly

by melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme



Series: mattex ficlets! [4]
Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29108874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme/pseuds/melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme
Summary: "You look amazing tonight.""Don't," she warns, her jaw tight as she looks away. It hurts that she can't even look at him. "Don't even try it."
Relationships: Alex Kingston/Matt Smith
Series: mattex ficlets! [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2135766
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	old desires make us act carelessly

**Author's Note:**

> title from The Heart Won't Lie by Reba McEntire and Vince Gill

"You look amazing tonight."

"Don't," she warns, her jaw tight as she looks away. It hurts that she can't even look at him. "Don't even try it."

He swallows and looks down. Tonight had started so great - she was laughing and he was laughing and they were having such a swell time. But it has turned upside down in less than a minute, and Matt finds himself struggling to deal with the sudden change.

"Is this a joke to you?" she asks, still looking away. He can see the tiny sheen of tears in her eyes and he wants nothing but to kick himself. "Have you - God, I could deal with it if I was nothing but someone to fuck, Matt, but taking me out like this and -"

"You're not -" Matt starts, horrified, but Alex interrupts.

"Then what the fuck was that?" she almost shouts, looking him directly in the eye. She's so angry and so incredibly sad and he just wishes that it never happened - that he never made that stupid mistake. "What was it, Matt? I thought you might actually - that you might be  _ serious _ about this. Fuck, I actually  _ wanted _ you back, you arse!"

"Alex, please," he whispers, and it's the quiver in his voice, the tears falling from his eyes and the way he reaches out to her hesitantly that makes her stop. "I swear, it's not what you think."

"Then what is it?"

"I - I never expected that you'd give me a chance," he says quietly. "I didn't - the first night was planned, but afterwards - I didn't tell anyone. I didn't take the money, Alex. I swear."

"But you were going to, weren't you, if we hadn't had that talk the morning after?" she says.

"No," he says honestly, and she raises an eyebrow sceptically at him. "I swear it, Alex, I - I've been half in love with you all year. Doing that - it was stupid, so incredibly stupid, but it made me brave. It made me brave enough to actually talk to you and - and -"

A tear falls and she wipes it away quickly with the back of her hand. She folds her arms across her chest and looks up at him, tears still filling her eyes to the brim.

"I was hoping I could give you a chance," she says, her voice shaking as she takes a deep breath. "I was hoping that you wouldn't be like every other man. But I was wrong to hope, wasn't I?"

"Alex, please," he whispers, his voice cracking as he reaches out to touch her cheek. "Please. I totally forgot I even made that stupid bet - I -"

"You fooled me for half a year," she whispers shakily, tears falling faster and faster. "I - I was  _ so _ close, Matt."

"To?"

"To loving you," she admits, her shoulders starting to shake too.

"Alex, please. Please forgive me," he almost begs, holding her face in his hands. "I'm so sorry. I swear - I didn't tell them I slept with you after I did because I felt so guilty. I hoped - after we talked, when we agreed to keep seeing each other - I hoped they would just forget about it. I'm so, so sorry. Please."

She turns away from him, pulling her face out of his hands as she starts crying in earnest, sobbing quietly as she tries to wipe her tears away.

"If I could take it all back, I would, love. I'm so sorry," he whispers again. "Please, don't leave. I - I don't want to lose you. I'll do anything."

She shakes her head, tears staining the black dress she'd worn on their date.

"I - I love you," he confesses quietly. "I've been in love with you for months and - and being with you has made everything so much better. Having you - I - I've never felt anything like this."

"That doesn't change anything," she says, her voice still shaky.

"I know," he says. "But I'm hoping that you'll give me a chance to fix this."

She stays silent, licking her dry lips and breathing deeply through her mouth.

"It hurts so much," she starts. "It hurts so much more than I thought it would but - but you - fuck, Matt. I was falling for you so quickly."

"And now?" he asks fearfully, not sure if he wants to hear the answer.

"And now what I want more than anything is for you to make love to me until I can't feel the hurt anymore," she confesses. He looks at her, eyes wide. "Promise me I won't regret this."

He's already reaching for her, arms around her tiny waist and lips seeking her skin.

"I promise, love," he whispers against her forehead.

She didn't regret it at all.


End file.
